It's been a while since my last blog, because there's been so little on my mind. My mind has been nearly blank for some time, which is how I like it. Still, there has been much clamor throughout the interweb. "What does Johnnie think about stuff?" is a persistent query. However, I feel that if you are going to take the time to read my blog I should give something that makes you think, perhaps even changes lives.
There are many important factors involved in writing "The Perfect Blog" It should be entertaining, intelligent, covering various points of view while being easily accepted as truth, inspirational and heart felt. "Stop Touching Me" was an excellent example. A topic universally understood but, with a little bit of sadness. Titles should be 3 words long.
I try to be fair and not blur the line between sensational opinion and responsible journalism. For example: last years controversial post, "Milk is Murder" Strong words that needed to be said. The milk industry responded that, "Milk is an important part of a balanced diet." Followed by threats against my family. The milk industry doesn't know how little I care about my family. Bring it on Milk Man! Nobody's gonna miss my brother.
A gentler post "Fruity Pebbles are Delicious!" drew widespread yawns, "Tell us something we don't know, Johnnie!" The same for my more populist "Will Smith is a big big star" You can't manufacture controversy. It has to find you.
"Stealing Feels Good" though divisive and thought provoking, cost me friends and my remaining associates search me before I'm allowed to leave their homes. Words do have consequences and I sometimes must decide if I'm willing to pay the price for my truth.
As a trained journalist, I feel the need to produce accurate well researched pieces that will withstand any tests. For that reason, I've decide to set aside a piece I've been working on entitled "Jesus Hates You" In my research, scholars cite a book that states the opposite. I have been unable to reach Jesus to verify or deny my claim so the article may have to sit until after the election. Probably part of Jesus' campaign strategy.
Clearly you have missed me so, rather than leave my audience wondering about my well being (Did someone touch him? Is he back on the pipe?) I will create more frequent, shorter, poorly crafted posts, with lower journalistic standards (grammar, accuracy) wildly varying popular interest, and happier endings.
Coming soon: Date at Hooters, Smell My Hand, and I Don't Know
I love you. Bye bye.
There are many important factors involved in writing "The Perfect Blog" It should be entertaining, intelligent, covering various points of view while being easily accepted as truth, inspirational and heart felt. "Stop Touching Me" was an excellent example. A topic universally understood but, with a little bit of sadness. Titles should be 3 words long.
I try to be fair and not blur the line between sensational opinion and responsible journalism. For example: last years controversial post, "Milk is Murder" Strong words that needed to be said. The milk industry responded that, "Milk is an important part of a balanced diet." Followed by threats against my family. The milk industry doesn't know how little I care about my family. Bring it on Milk Man! Nobody's gonna miss my brother.
A gentler post "Fruity Pebbles are Delicious!" drew widespread yawns, "Tell us something we don't know, Johnnie!" The same for my more populist "Will Smith is a big big star" You can't manufacture controversy. It has to find you.
"Stealing Feels Good" though divisive and thought provoking, cost me friends and my remaining associates search me before I'm allowed to leave their homes. Words do have consequences and I sometimes must decide if I'm willing to pay the price for my truth.
As a trained journalist, I feel the need to produce accurate well researched pieces that will withstand any tests. For that reason, I've decide to set aside a piece I've been working on entitled "Jesus Hates You" In my research, scholars cite a book that states the opposite. I have been unable to reach Jesus to verify or deny my claim so the article may have to sit until after the election. Probably part of Jesus' campaign strategy.
Clearly you have missed me so, rather than leave my audience wondering about my well being (Did someone touch him? Is he back on the pipe?) I will create more frequent, shorter, poorly crafted posts, with lower journalistic standards (grammar, accuracy) wildly varying popular interest, and happier endings.
Coming soon: Date at Hooters, Smell My Hand, and I Don't Know
I love you. Bye bye.
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