I've been getting "Merry Christmas!" text messages and emails from my friends. A great many of my friends either don't get my memos, or don't read them. Let me summarize. I don't do Christmas. I'm not a Christian. I don't believe the Jesus fairy tale so, I do not celebrate his fake birthday.
I won't be decorating or giving gifts. (I do receive however- refusing would be rude.) I don't want to have Xmas dinner with your family or some assortment of lonelies who feel incomplete when they're not in a traditional setting for the holiday. (Although Nicole is an excellent chef, so I'm only punishing myself there.) Some Buddhists or some Jews will prepare me a meal, with assistance by our amigos from the south, because they understand that the world doesn't stop just for Jesus.
I'm well thank you. Cancel the suicide watch. I eat hundreds of meals alone every year. Don't worry about me today. I am grateful to the Christians and pseudo-Christians who have maintained this holiday for me to watch NBA games, go to movies and catch up on some laundry. Thanks for the day off!
Bah! Humbug!
