And now, the Weather

Please don't talk to me about the weather. I can't do anything about it, and since I live in southern California, it's not that interesting anyway. We don't need to pontificate on how much cooler is this winter compared to last winter or, if I think it will rain later. It's Los Angeles. How bad can it be? Most days will be within 10 degrees/miles per hour/percent of yesterday. Whatever change isn't likely to be very drastic. Most of us can look out the window or stick our head out the door for a few seconds and get all we need to know. should I bring a jacket? Umbrella? Good day for shorts? (When it rains I get to wear my yellow rain jacket. Makes me happy.)

Regardless, No conversation about the weather should take more than 10 seconds. "I hear it might rain tonight." "Oh, really? I better bring a hat." Done- Next topic. We really need only talk about the weather if lives are in immediate danger, "Hey! There's a tornado behind you! Better get into this storm shelter." Still acceptably brief. Most of the people I know have been on Earth long enough to have experienced every weather condition they're likely to encounter in Los Angeles more than once. Overcast isn't "weird weather". Drizzle isn't weird. Wind isn't weird. How do I know? Because we talked about it last year, and the year before that... If you really want to talk about the weather, find someone who's never been outside. I'm sure they're fascinated by your imaginary climate trends.

When someone says to me "Beautiful day, huh?" (I think that's a question.) My standard response, "Everyday is a beautiful day." And I sincerely mean that, and I sincerely hope we change the subject. Have you read a book or seen a movie? Sometimes when it's cloudy someone will ask, "Shitty day, huh?" I often suggest they kill themselves. Helps put the clouds into perspective. And really, how long do you want to talk to anyone who needs a second opinion about the sky.

When someone continues a conversation about the weather, they signal to me that this person has close to nothing on their mind. Why else would they take the time to contemplate the the air. Maybe I envy them, so carefree that they can be nostalgic about last winter's temperatures. Maybe I take the weather for granted. Or maybe I'm a grown man virtually unaffected by weather short of a direct lightning strike. Please don't talk to me about the weather. I don't care. Rain or shine, I got shit to do.

Bless this Mess

I had dinner with a friend a few days ago at DuPar's in Studio City. Dupar's has the best pancakes in the world, however we were there for dinner.
We order. We chat. The waitress drops off our plates and as I reach for my fork, My friend puts her hands together and starts praying. I've known Carolyne for 7 years. She has never said a prayer over a meal before. And while she's praying, what am I supposed to do? Just sit there while she rambles on an on. "Bless this food" blah blah blah "nourishment of the body" blah blah "Bless me and you and everyone we know..." Blahmen. What's more rude. Me starting to eat without her, or her making me wait for this endless and useless babel. The time for God to bless the food was before we killed it.

Seems a little arbitrary to pray before meals anyway. How about praying before you get on a bus. Pray over a load of laundry "Bless this water for the cleansing of the fabric. Bless this detergent that it may defeat stains." Maybe before vacuuming "Lord help me suck the devil from this rug."
I've had friends like that, as well. The kind that will interrupt any conversation to pray out loud before dropping a letter in the mailbox, or to ask Jesus for a parking space.

It's behavior like this, among other acts and convictions, that lead me to believe that religious faith is a form of insanity. Many of my friends and family are religious people and, I suppose I've just admitted to some of them that I think they're insane. At least now you know why I look at you "like that".

I had a tuna melt. Carolyne had grilled cheese. And it was good.

Something I'm trying...

I'm evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they're letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.

It covers:

• The best blogging techniques.
• How to get traffic to your blog.
• How to turn your blog into money.

I'll let you know what I think once I've had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it's still free.