Got Milk

I've been eating my cereal with rice milk. We know it's not really "milk" sucked by machines from tiny rice teats. Actually it's packaged as rice "drink". I've arrived at this destination after more than a decade since a conversation with a vegetarian comic, Gerry Swallow, who I was working with in Dallas. Gerry was trying to convince me that it is unhealthy to drink milk.
"Milk isn't for people. It's for cows! Baby cows. And even they don't drink it after a while." Many people develop a lactose intolerance, which they aren't shy in describing. I've heard of statistical evidence that women who drink milk are more likely to give birth to multiple kids (twins, triplets), because of the hormones and stuff they give to cows to enhance their fertility. I got enough kids so that's more incentive.
Gerry recommended soy milk instead. (The image of soy bean teats makes me giggle as well) 

I took this advice to heart since I would like to be healthier and more energetic. (I'd really like to sleep more, but that's doesn't pay) I began to notice what I put into my body. Keeping a vague burgers to apples ratio in my head. (about 5 to 1) How do I feel after a Fatburger? A malt? An apple? (sleepy, happy, hungry) Am I eating lots of fat? (Fat tastes good!) Sugar? (mmm sugar) Dirt and bugs? (Whadayagonna do?)
I tried cutting down on red meat, sugar, processed foods, in hope of gaining vitality and maybe losing a few pounds around the middle. (I'm as neurotic about my weight as any actress, but I won't give up food.) Just taking little steps. Better food and less of it. I hear that works. But what is "better food". I tend to think that vegetarians have it right, I just wonder if they're happy... Really?

Having decided that soy milk made me heave, I choose low-fat or skim milk as a compromise. Once you're used to skim milk, whole feels kinda heavy. I understand that whole milk is much better if you're making pancakes- which is part of the problem. 
I was talking to a skinny vegan friend, who has been trying to convert me for years, about what she eats. As it turns out, McDonald's French fries. It can't be that bad a way of life if you get to eat French fries. But what do put on your cereal if you don't like soy milk? I've seen people eat cereal with water, but I think that was a poverty related choice. They tried to convince me they liked it, but really, who ya foolin? My vegan friend suggested rice milk. I had seen it in the grocery store so I knew she wasn't making it up, and I certainly prefer rice to soy. Turns out, it taste okay on cereal. However it's awful with cookies.

Tangent: A skinny actress was giving me a ride home from the show we were working on ( I was between cars) when she suddenly had a craving for chocolate so we stopped at a convenience store. She ran in but came back empty handed since they had only milk chocolate and no dark chocolate. What's wrong with milk chocolate? "Milk chocolate is for children." You can tell my life is run by skinny women and rules. So I've acquired a taste for dark chocolate, like I acquired a taste for beer, because I want to look grown up in public. Alas, dark chocolate hasn't gotten me laid. However, beer has!

Ultimately I'd like to eliminate cattle from my life. Not because the cattle have done me harm. Mostly because they are the stupidest looking animals on earth. I've been to those cattle factory places and seen them standing around chewing on something with the big strings of slobber swinging from their mouths. And I've seen their big sloppy milk bags with the giant nipples, and I think "Yuck. People drink that?!" 
School children were asked where they thought milk came from. Many, mostly city kids, answered "from the store" I like that answer. I would like to return to that level of ignorance, but it's too late. I can only now live in denial. In my own world where milk comes from the store and steak from the kitchen. Where rice have teats.

43 (Not George)

43 (Not George)
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Life

Today is my birthday and mostly what comes to mind is that my knees hurt when I go up and down stairs. I'd like to buy a house someday and I think one story is tall enough. No McMansion. Just a bedroom and a driveway and a yard for the dog. A big comfy chair and a flat screen TV with HBO and IFC and lots of news channels to feed my anchorbabe fantasies. Don't need a kitchen. When I'm not eating out, I make frozen dinners and cereal, and a great pbj. I'll get a Tablemate II to dine on and when I'm finished with my Fatburger I will adjust it to hold my laptop while I watch internet videos of street fights and car crashes. I'm not rich enough to marry a stripper or dumb enough to be the baby's daddy so I'll have to train the dog to dial 911 when I keel over. Mom Has Alzheimer's so I'm not expecting her to call like she used to every year. I'll call her while she still remembers who I am.

Really: I'm having dinner with a friend, maybe lunch with a friend and breakfast with a friend's dog. I have a voice over audition at noon. My agent wants to know which dialect I do best; Chicago, southern or urban hip hop. I do them all pretty well though none of them great. Fact is, I'm virtually never asked to do any of them. One of the realities of being a black actor is that you are rarely called upon to play Cockney or or even New York Italian. Still they are in my repertoire, though covered with dust. My urban/hip hop is mostly my inner gangsta fighting to get out. I know lots of black people and speak the language when I have to, so it should be okay. Anyone who's met me can imagine the shootouts I been in and all the niggas I left bleeding in the street. Voiceover is that segment of acting where you can play against type as long as nobody sees you. Maybe I should dust off my Irish, which even the Irish actors never get hired to do. Or maybe I should brush up on web site design.

Happy birthday to me!

Might be, might not...

Went to my doctor and he figured better safe than sorry. He scheduled a CAT scan. Quite an experience in itself with the kool-ade and the warm blood dye. But what matters is that they didn't find any thing and they took four days to tell me that. It's bad enough to have to wait but still worse to have nothing to report after the wait. I got friends that I tell about this stuff, reluctantly. And they want news. So I still have a stomach ache and, I fear that my friends think I'm crying "wolf" They don't really think that, however I feel like a twit for making them worry. Unless, I have cancer. That'll show them! Does that sound stupid enough.